Sukkot and the Little Midwife part 3.

Then on the day we call tuesday, she got a call late in the after noon about her mother. She was getting worse. She was in pain. The hospice nurse had been called to come. After gathering things she would need to spend the night and a few days with her mother, the little midwife left for her mothers house.

She would be spending the night with her mother. Tonight at sundown, a high Holy Sabbath would begin. She knew that the church family would be packing up to leave the little camp ground.  The little midwife did not dwell on this now.

The nurse came; but the little midwife did not listen like the hospice nurse did to her mother’s chest and the beating of her heart.  She had already done that this past week. She did not take her blood pressure -instead she just sat there --being a daughter.  She knew from listening before that her mother’s heart was not beating well...she had already listened to the abnormal beating of her mother’s heart….she knew by what she was hearing that her heart was failing.  She did not want to listen again...

She did not want to be a nurse today; today she just wanted to be a daughter…

For the little midwife, the nurse in her was quietly tucked away deep inside somewhere-hiding, this was to allow her to grieve. 

 The hospice nurse called to get medicine to help with her mothers pain. The little midwife watched her mother breath heavily, breath fast. She counted 46 a minute which was very fast. Her mother was in pain and struggling....

It was the middle of the night, and the hospice nurse was trying, fighting the hospice doctor, who was an angry doctor for being awakened in the middle of the night.  The hospice nurse was fighting to find a pharmacy to open up at this late hour to get the medicine the doctor who was angry -had ordered.

Finally all was done, and the medicine was on the way. It would arrive later, the midwife and her family sat beside her mothers bed, talking quietly. When it arrived they gave her some of it right away, it was to help with the pain and slow her breathing. But it did not slow her breathing. The little midwife and her sister who was also a nurse, took care to make their mother more comfortable, positioning her carefully. Then everyone but the little midwife left for the night.

The little midwife was sitting on the mattress she had pulled out to the floor, looking at her mother. The little midwife was so tired, and her flesh cried out for rest, cried out to just lay down onto the mattress on the floor and rest. She had lost so much sleep this past 7 days from births and her mothers care. She thought of the little cabin, but did not dwell on that, knowing she was where she needed to be right now.

The little midwife prayed to GOD to help her to stay up with her mother like she did at births.  She fought with her 'flesh', fought her urge to sleep and she thought, I can stay up at a birth; I have to stay up with my mom. The little midwife knew in her heart this would be the last night on earth for her mother, the Little Midwife knew this to be true.   She wanted her mother to have a familiar face to see---when she opened her eyes during the night.

She read scripture to her-from psalms. She read and read...

But thou OLORD art a shield about me, My glory and the lifter of my head....Psalm 3:3

Give ear to my words O LORD, consider my groaning. Heed the sound of my cry for help, my KING and my GOD, for to THEE do I pray. In the morning O LORD, thou wilt hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to THEE and eagerly watch...Psalm 5:1-3

then she beganto sing...

Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path...

When I feel afraid, think I've lost my way

Still your there right beside me

Nothing will I fear, as long as you are near.

Please be near me to the end.

I can not forget your love for me and yet,

my heart forever is wandering

YHWH be my guide, hold me to your side,

I will love you to the end.

Then she sang the song amazing grace to her mother...

As she sang and read scripture, her mother relaxed. The little midwife asked her mother if she was in pain, and her mother said yes. So the midwife gave her mother one more dose of pain medicine, more water to drink and made sure she was positioned comfortably and then she sat beside her bed. Soon her mother would close her eyes and rest. She rested for 3 hours, and so the little midwife also rested.

The midwife never really went to sleep, as she had done with the woman in labor-she rested with out falling asleep. This was so she could lay there listening to her mother breath. Her mother was still breathing fast, but the little midwife took comfort in the sound of her mothers breathing...as long as she could hear her -she knew she was still alive.

She thought of the story her niece had told her.  Last week her niece had witnessed the midwives mother (who is the nieces grandmother) starring for a long time up into the corner of the room, without blinking. She asked her: “grandma, what are you looking at?” and after a long pause, she said: 'GOD.'  The niece said, “up in heaven,” and she answered-‘no, right here in the room.’

The little midwife knew that GOD had been telling her own heart for months now that she should prepare for her mother’s passing...that it would be happening soon.

Finally the sun was coming up, as morning came, more family came to visit. A long time family friend came too and spent over an hour visiting with the midwife.

Later the hospice nurse came to see her mother, she would give her mother her last bath...just a gentle bed bath, and make her mother comfortable with the other sisters help. During this time, the little midwife would leave to go to the doctor in town with her husband.

Before she left she bent down to her mother and whispered in her ear that she had to leave for awhile, but she would be back. She told her mother that it was ok to go see the LORD GOD while she was gone if she was ready. She told her that she loved her so very much...and she would miss her, but it was ok.

When that appointment with the doctor was over, the little midwife would go back to her mothers home. She spent another hour there and then had to leave again. More family members were on their way to sit for the day.

The little midwife bent to whisper once again in her mothers ear-telling her she loved her very much, so very much. She told her that it was ok to leave and go home to see GOD, to go see her husband, the little midwives daddy-and to see the little midwives only brother who had just passed on only 9 months before.  (he was her mothers oldest child, and only son). She reminded her mother that they and others were all waiting for her in heaven...
~she told her that if she was still here after she got back from her errand, she would see her again, but if she had to go now, before the little midwife returned to the house, it was ok... she understood, and that she loved her very much.

After the Midwife left her mothers home, her mother immediately began to stop breathing for several seconds and up to a minute. Seven minutes later after that began; she would enter eternity to spend 'forever' with the LORD GOD.  

It was not meant that the little midwife be there when she left this earth. 

She was driving in her car, something she did a lot with the work she did…  When she had left, she knew that her mother would be gone before she returned to her mother’s home. Tears flowed freely... she was very sad, but she did know that her mother had heard her words of love and encouragement, it was ok. She had spent the time with her all night, and she knew her mother was ready to die. 

The little midwife had midwifed her mother into eternity. 

When the midwife returned later to her mothers home...she looked at her mothers lifeless body on the bed, the little midwife would now know what it was like to not have parents...

The little midwife knelt beside her mothers bed, she leaned in and whispered 'oh momma'...she reached for her mothers still lifeless hand, and held it... 
....she let the tears flow as she wept...