Monday, December 29, 2014

Depression: Despair: and How to Help Someone, and NOT Make it Worse!

Ugg.
Yes that is what I say-Ugg.  This society judges people when they are depressed, or at the end of their 'rope'.  I have seen it and over the past 2 and 1/2 years personally having experienced it more often than a human being should.
Then there are those who make it worse because of their judgement which is often just awful!
No one knows how hard a person tries, no one knows what is going thru a persons mind as they struggle with life's ups and downs.  And remember, no one knows when their comments and their attitude or disrespect or lies will be the thing that pushes a person over the edge.  Have you ever 'heard' a person who has cried out for help? When they do-- what do you do?  How do you act? What do you do?  What do you say? Becoming angry with them for having a weak moment and wanting to give up, does not do them any good.  Telling them to get over it does not do any good.  Telling them that others have it worse off than they do does not do any good.  Telling them that it will eventually get better  does not do them any good.    You can always compare their life and someone elses trying to make them feel better, but why? Does that serve a positive purpose?  Does that build up the person who is struggling or does it just pile more guilt onto them?  Ya maybe there is someone going thru something much worse, most likely there is-- at least somewhere in this world.  But comparing that persons troubles to what the person you are talking with -trying to help-that comparing does NOT help them it actually causes more damage.
Here is how to really help a person in trouble:
GO over to their home, talk to them, do their dishes, sweep their floors, help with a payment on a bill, take a casserole, fill their autos gas tank, wash their car, weed their garden, mow their lawn, take them out for dinner.....all things to help them, not create more stress.

Then we have the person who wants to quote scriptures- ones that only pile on the guilt.  Ok, as a believer I do know that YHWH has scripture enough to help with everything in life, but sometimes, you need to leave this job to the HOLY SPIRIT-and not try to be the persons holy spirit-- GOD/YHWH is a big god and can handle HIS job just fine!

Are you someone who is telling this person they are in sin, as you sit there smoking, or eating too much, or are overweight, or cuss all the time, or look at half dressed women on line or in magazines, or watch shows or movies that are not GODLY or uplifting, watch 'cut them up' horror movies, or speed when driving....I can go on and but basically I am saying: pull the beam out of your own eye first folks. Don't tell the person that they are in sin to be depressed or feel like they want to give up on life, when you are doing any of the above listed, or other things.
Ok, I am done 'preaching".

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Introductions!

I am a wife-married to my sweetheart from my teen age years. I am a mother of 6 children. Oldest is a son, Jason then Nathan, a son, and our first daughter Anastasia. All three of these children are married. Then is Nalani, our second daughter. Then Dustin, our youngest son, who is married. And our youngest child is home with our LORD YHWH.